Shirley Wolfe sent some hilarious compilations of mishaps. The Committee would like to receive more from you. So please send them to me but, meanwhile let me know what you think of these.
Sue
On a personal note. I used to own Robsons lingerie shop. One morning the telephone rang.
| Caller: Ello is that Robsons ? |  |
| Me: Yes madam but it is 7.30 a.m. | |
| Caller: Yes dearie I know but do you sell any of them incontinuous knickers? | |
| Me: No madam, try Boots at 9 a.m. |
Letters that a maintenance company received:
- I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
- Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she's pregnant.
- Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
- My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
- Can you remove my drawers in the kitchen?
This one actually happened to Jim and I a couple of days ago.
We visited our friend who has just had a hip replacement and she was telling us of some of the things that happened to her in the hospital.
As you know various Doctors and nurses are always coming round to see the patients. One came to our lady friend and said she was going to do some tests. I'd like to test your memory.
Our friend misheard and thought she said "mammary".
Well she thought this was a bit odd as it was a hip replacement, so anyway she started to remove her nightdress in readiness for the test when the nurse said "could you please say the months of the year backwards from December." Ooops, nearly made a boob!!!
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I was talking to my friend Anita over coffee the other day and she was telling me about her little dog. It's a schnauzer and he was having some problems with his ears, so I told her to take him to the vet. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.
The vet then told my friend that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and use it in the dog's ears once a month. So Anita went to the chemist and bought some "Nair" hair remover.
The Pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Anita said "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "Well if you are going to use it on your legs, don't put any moisturiser on them for a couple of days."
She replied" I'm not using it on my legs either. I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well in that case don't ride a bicycle for a couple of days."
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